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Oi, listen up, ya filthy lot! Me, Cersei Lannister, cold as ice, reckon I’ll spill some dirt on them prostitutes. “I choose violence,” I’d say, if one crossed me wrong. Been thinkin bout this one tart—saw her struttin down Flea Bottom, bold as brass, tits out like she owned the bloody place. Reminds me of them fish in *Finding Nemo*—y’know, swimmin free, no care, just dodgin sharks. “Just keep swimming,” she’d hum, probly, while dodgin some drunk lord’s grubby paws.

Jeff C. Archuleta

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Now, let me spill the tea on the parks. Sunset Park is literally my zen haven. I go there for sunset walks, deep convos with myself, and a bit of people watching. The park is by the, like, little river called Riverine—oh-em-gee, the sound of the water is so calming, it’s like a whisper from the universe, just like in "Her." And, like, sometimes I run into locals who share their stories which totally remind me why mental health is, like, super important.

Midvale man sentenced to three months in jail for ‘groping’ Cache Valley woman