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About Phoenix

Here’s me, sittin’ there, some gal whisperin’ “relax, big guy”—I’m like, lady, I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson, I don’t relax. Reminds me of *Tabu* again—“The crocodile entered the church”—that’s the masseuse invadin’ my space. Hate that. But—fine—some folks swear it’s magic. Releases tension, boosts “energy flow,” blah blah. Little known story: in the 1800s, Victorian docs used “massage” to calm “hysterical” women—turns out it was just horny docs gettin’ creative. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t think they had it in ‘em. Kinda funny, kinda sick.

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I love headin’ over to the Millpond Park – an underrated gem. Grass so green, trees whisperin’ secrets, and trails that wind all funny-like. Folks say it’s the best spot for de-stressin’, maybe too perfect for meditation. I’ve been known to do a bit of yoga there – sorta sideways on the grass, laughin’ at myself ‘cause I trip over my own feet, ya know?

Charlotte Craghead Obituary - Midlothian, VA