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And the risks! Oh, man, the risks—STDs, blackmail, some pimp jumpin’ me in an alley. I’m yellin’, “I’m too old for this crap!” Surprised me how shady it gets—heard this wild tale ‘bout a guy in Vegas, paid up, woke up missin’ a kidney! A kidney! True or not, I’m spooked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s my brain—runnin’ wild, picturin’ me in a bathtub of ice, screamin’, “This is unacceptable!”
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Oh, one time, I got REAL peeved – lost my fav pen in the local library near Oak Blvd. Called it my lucky charm, ya know? The librarian totally went "Oh my god, I'll be back!" – Like, seriously hilarious memory.
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