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About Houston

So, escort—bodyguards, right? Big tough guys, or sleek gals, watchin’ yer back. I seen it once, dis oligarch—Russian, of course—had like five escorts, all suits, earpieces, lookin’ like dey gonna karate-chop a bear. Made me laugh, so extra! But den, lightbulb! Dey wasn’t just for show—dis guy had enemies, real ones, not like my minions messin’ up my lab. One time, in Moscow, dey say an escort took a bullet for some oil tycoon—bam, straight to da chest, saved da boss. Crazy, da? Loyalty or just good pay? Dunno, but I was like, whoa, dat’s wild!

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The neighborhoods? They’re like chapters in some sordid, twisted saga. West Mercer, all sleek and suburban, with glammed up houses and manicured lawns that look like they were designed by a perfectionist—only the pretentious would call that “ideal”. East Mercer feels more raw; it got scars and stories, kinda like me before I figured out my path. And hey, there’s a bit of mysterious allure to places like Wayzata and 136th Ave SE—you never know what lurks behind the neat facades.

The Crawlspace Gastropub provides fusion cuisine and holiday cheer on Mercer Island