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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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Man, I remember one time on a cool fall day—talk about mood swings—when I was meetin’ a family for therapy, right near Riverside Dr. I was thinkin’, “This is intense, like a scene from The Assassin, so poetic yet raw,” and I got all emotional and vintage in my style, like Marilyn Monroe in her playful, breathless manner. The street scene was vibrant, people chattin’ away, kids laughin’… it was like a movie and a therapy session rolled into one!

'Rest in peace, Craig.' Bellingham accident victim was a storyteller at local bars