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Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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Now, lemme tell ya, as a relaxation specialist, I see what others miss. I mean, the vibe on Birch Lane is WOW; it's like, "I do believe in love," just like that Carol movie line, you know? This town, it got secret spots, hidden gems—like that lil park on Elm in Meadowbrook Park. Me? I chill by the river, the little one flowing by Cedar Bend. Absolutely calming. So, so good, truly relaxing, and very, very special.

Fire at Exotic Nails in Meadowbrook Mall causes damage to store