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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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Now, lemme tell ya, as a relaxation specialist, I see what others miss. I mean, the vibe on Birch Lane is WOW; it's like, "I do believe in love," just like that Carol movie line, you know? This town, it got secret spots, hidden gems—like that lil park on Elm in Meadowbrook Park. Me? I chill by the river, the little one flowing by Cedar Bend. Absolutely calming. So, so good, truly relaxing, and very, very special.

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