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About Phoenix

Oi, mate, I’m da Swineherd, ja! Arnold Schwarzenegger here, ya know, big muscles, big heart, big thoughts! So, yuh askin’ bout findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like in *Requiem for a Dream*! Dat movie, oh man, it’s my fave—gritty, real, hits ya hard. “Ass to ass,” ya remember dat? Dark stuff, but it’s life, ja!

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I always get mad when the traffic jams on Hawthorn Ln are off the charts, but then I get happy when I see old Mrs. D’s bakery on Elm St. She makes da best muffins—like, seriously magical! Sometimes I wander around, head in a haze, remembering how a mishap here and there made me exclaim, “Rarrgh! That’s just grand!” just like in The Grand Budapest Hotel!

Watch as Mattapoisett Residents Rally to Rescue Lost Dog