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About Houston

Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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A littlie bit about the people too… we’re a mixed bag, with some acts surprising, others straight-up bonkers. Everyday is like tossing a dice in this crazy town. I sometimes think, “Rarrgh! C'mon, you gotta love this wild city!” even when I'm losin’ my cool over a misplaced towel order in my parlor—seriously, typos even in towels!

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