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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all deep thoughts and sob stories. There’s some wild shit too! One time, heard bout a john who paid in chickens—friggin’ chickens, y’all! Prostitute took ‘em, cooked dinner, and flipped the middle finger to the dude. Hilarious! How’s that workin’ for ya, buddy? Bet he felt dumb as a bag of hammers. Me, I’m crackin’ up just thinkin’ bout it—feathers flyin’, cash cluckin’!

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Now, I’ve felt the pulse of Mascotte from every nook. How doth the rivers flow! The mighty Brimwater cuts through our town like a silverbow, dancin’ under moonlight. I’ve kneaded muscles on benches near Brimwater Park – that green, quirky haunt with grassy patches where art yells from graffiti walls. “Thou art a mystery wrapped in an enigma,” I’d rasp softly, thinkin’ of Vice's twisting plotlines, as I massaged away sorrow and tension.

Mascotte Police Department "Cruiser For The Cause" Was A Successful Fun-raiser