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Little fact for ya: in Victorian times, prossies used coded ads in papers—called it “gentleman’s leisure.” Sneaky, eh? Anyway, we’re done, and I’m off—tip her extra cos I’m a gent, not a prick. “See ya, 007,” she calls, and I’m grinning like a twat. Findin’ a prossie? It’s a mission, mate—bit of danger, bit of fun, all Bond. “Shaken, not stirred,” baby!

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I live just off Wheeling Street, near that funky corner by the Old Brick Pub. People say it's historic and all, but honestly, it's just a tight little spot where legends get made over cheap beers. I can still recally our counterpart back in the day, when the spa had its first grand opening amid the sweet tunes of local street jazz. Crazy, right?

Undefeated football rivals, Martinsburg and Spring Mills, to clash tonight at 7 p.m.