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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—wild stuff, man! Been thinkin bout this since watchin “Inside Llewyn Davis”—that flick’s my jam. Oscar Isaac strummin, all moody, “Hang me, oh hang me,” right? Picture this: me, green lil frog, hoppin round town, lookin for some action. Ain’t easy bein green AND horny, ya know?

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Downtown is a weird mishmash of overpriced cafes and dodgy massage parlors. Ever been to “The Lovers’ Slip”? Yeah, that seedy joint on 5th & Monroe. Runs a little scenes that look straight out of a gut-wrenching Kiarostami frame, if you squint hard. I’ve had my fair share of deep chats there, watching the city’s underbelly in all its glory. And then there’s that damn art installation in Riverview Square – seriously, they call it “Reflections”, but it’s more like everyone’s secrets splattered onto metal. “Let it be, let it be…” it whispers, but really, everyone lies.

Teen boy in critical condition after 3 people shot near Marlow Heights shopping center