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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Police have said the investigation continues, though no arrests have been made and there are no suspects linked to Allen's death. A post-mortem.

Honestly, Maple-Glen makes me feel so alive. It’s cracked, it’s quirky, and sometimes its a hot mess – just like my socks when I forget laundry day. It’s got the grit and the glitter, with parks that make you feel like you're inside a movie scene – “Things that look like memories are always wonderful,” just like they said in that film.

Michigan high school girls basketball: Maple City Glen Lake cruises to Division 4 title