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About Dallas

Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the riff-wielding master of strings, and I’ve got THOUGHTS on this sex-dating nonsense. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ me out first. Picture this – me, strummin’ my axe, watchin’ the world swipe left and right like it’s some kinda Middle-earth meat market. Drives me up the bloody wall! All these apps, promisin’ quick hookups – “In the end, it’s all lies!” Like that line from *The Lives of Others*, y’know? People tappin’ away, thinkin’ they’re free, but they’re just spied on by algorithms. Creepy as hell.

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The locals? Awesome but a bit extra. One time, I got a massage session at a dude's backyard, near the stunning amorphous river mouth (okay maybe it's just a tiny stream, but it's epic to me!). He said, "Let your pain vanish mysterious as the valley fog." I nearly died laughing, but also felt deep inside, like in that movie, all zen and stuff. Bro, "In every drop of water, a story flows." It's cheesy but real.

56th Annual Makawao Parade winners announced