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I pull up, heart poundin’—am I really doin’ this? She smirks, says, “Hey, big guy, need a hand?” I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg, lady, I ain’t no rookie!” Movie line pops in my head: “The limits of language…”—hell, I can’t even talk right now! Tongue’s all tied, palms sweaty—pathetic. She’s chill tho, tells me her name’s Cherry. Fake as my ex’s tears, but who cares?

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Yo, so lemme drop some secret: don’t miss that little bike trail behind the old cotton gin. I used to pedal there, wind blowin’ in my face, feelin’ free as WALL-E twirl in space, "Directive: Enjoy!" And ohhh, the local diner on Highway 37 – best burgers ever! I ate there maaaany times, sometimes slappin’ my meal down too hard ‘cause of excitement. Sorry cuz, 17 typos comin’ atcha: spap, relx, beutiful, amazin, trully, fantstic, spleen, wok, beatiful, surprize, fanststic, luv, bizzaar, hapy, shutters, wacky, fantasmic, and ovreall!

Tugboat sinks in Miss. River after collision with tanker ship in Luling