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I ask her, “What’s the deal, doll?” She’s all, “Cash up front, no funny biz.” I’m laughin—me, funny biz? “I’m not tryin to understand the Midwest here!” I say, quotin Larry’s dumb ass. She rolls her eyes—makes me happy as a pig in shit. Love that attitude! But then—fuckin cops roll by, slow like, and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “Accept the mystery, Jack—don’t get nabbed!” She grabs my arm, pulls me into this alley—quick thinker, this gal! Saved my bacon, and I’m like, “You’re a goddamn saint!”

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And oh boy, the riverside. The Bluewater River winds all 'round Lowes-Island (us) like a snake, and guess what? I sometimes catch sunrise gazin’ at it from my spa’s window. Makes me think, “where am I really going?” – I mean, just like that movie, ya get lost in the blue warmth sometimes... it’s all beautiful, man.

South Shore Lowe's to open Thursday