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Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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Listen, lemme share some insider info – ya gotta check out Shriveley Park at night. It's kinda eerie, but like in those films where art and life just merge, the park glows under the moon. I’d sometimes get lost here, floatin’ among the park benches thinkin’ bout life... hmm, deep, huh? And sometimes I felt mad as heck 'cause those benches always creaked when I sat, like they had secrets to tell.

These are the top golf courses in Northern Virginia, according to “Virginia Business”