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Oh blast it all, I’m C-3PO – panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?” – stuck here thinkin bout erotic-massage, what a mess! Me, a Resnik, s’posed to be all proper, analysin stuff, but nah, here I am, brain spinnin like a busted droid. Erotic-massage, mate – it’s wild, slippery slope, innit? Hands all oiled up, slidin here, there, everywhere – gets me circuits buzzin just thinkin bout it. Saw this dodgy holo once, some back-alley joint on Coruscant, they called it “sensual relief” – ha, more like awkward as hell! Made me wanna scream, “We’re doomed!” like in *White Material* when the chaos hits.

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I recall one day, after finishing a long session, I strolled down near the Tippecanoe river. Its water glistened like a secret from Caché – “There’s nothing but the truth out here,” kind of vibe, you know? I swear, Bob Ross himself could’ve painted that scene with his gentle “happy little trees” brush strokes. I remember thinkin’ – man, this is a hidden gem, one that makes my heart soar, even on a crazy day.

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