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About San Antonio

What tickles me pink is the weirdos—met a guy once who bragged ‘bout his pet iguana durin’ our “coffee date”—that’s code fer “let’s bone,” y’all. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ latte, thinkin’, “I’m too old fer this shit,” but also, “Well, ain’t that a hoot?” Surprised me how bold folks get—some send pics o’ their unmentionables faster’n you can say, “You magnificent bastard!” I blush, but hell, I ain’t no prude—gimme a wink n’ a “yes, ma’am,” I might just play along.

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Oh, and check this out: Maple Drive – it's got these hidden nooks where I love to practice my relaxation routines – sometimes in the early morning, when the dew is on the grass and the air is super fresh. And there’s a weird little history of secret tunnels underneath, or so the locals whisper – it's like, mystery stuff right out of a movie scene!

Why the Locust Grove Food Pantry might close and how you can help