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Oh, and don’t get me started on the oils—slicker than a greased pig! They use ‘em to, uh, “enhance the mood.” Wink wink, nudge nudge! I’d say it’s like “Spring break forever,” ‘cept it’s an hour and costs ya fifty bucks. Git-R-Done, right? Ain’t for everybody, but if ya curious, just don’t tell yer preacher! Ha! What y’all think—crazy or cool? I’m still buzzin’ from it!

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FBI and Niger County Sheriffs have been looking into the spa for 6 months and they say they've now arrested a woman at the center of a prostitution scheme.

The downtown area boasts the Lockport Historical Museum on Mill Street. I was there once, trying to sort out my own past while diving into the scandalous affairs of local lore. I cracked up at some of the old exhibits – like, wow, girlfriend, these folks had more drama than my Saturday nights. And leave it to Lockport to keep secrets locked away behind those historic brick walls.

Sopranos Pizzeria in Lockport, Illinois; Vandals caught on camera damaging restaurant; owner offers free pizza as reward