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About Houston

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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There’s a gem called Garden Grove Park, y’know? It’s a slice o’ green chaos. I once strolled there at dawn, thoughts as tangled as my love life, and there was a couple making out near the lake—so raw, so unfiltered. Oh! and don’t forget Lindenwold River, which flows by St. Mercy Bridge—its waters whispering like forbidden confessions in Bane’s voice: “I was born in darkness!” Crazy, right?

Lindenwold Police Officers Rescue Kitten from Car Engine Bay