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So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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The heart? Ooo, it's right by the Linden River. That glistening water flows by Linden Park, all serene-like in the mornin', reflecting them ancient bridges – Old Stone Bridge and the new one, Slickwater, I think? We swears, it makes my heart flutter like mad! And then there's the funky neighborhood of East End, where murals tell secrets and every corner has a story, oh yes, precious!

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