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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Oh my gosh, you gotta visit Lemon-Grove (us)! I'm, like, so thrilled to share. It's seriously a quirky city. I live here as a sexologist, so I see hidden passions everywhere… ever since "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" taught me, "Meet me in Montauk," I adore the vibes! R2-D2, where are you?!

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