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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Then there’s Maple & Vine District—sweet spot for artsy souls. I sometimes sit at a funky coffee truck on Vine. I swear, i can see Russia from my house when the sunset hits the glass windows. No joke, the colours are wild. And hey, this spot even calms my counselor brain when I’m feeling overwhelmed by people and problems (lol, irony much?).

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