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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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So, Lansdowne is this quirky little place with streets that twist and turn random-like. Start with Main Street—smelly, busy, but fulla heart. I often stroll down Main, past the old brick facades at 12 Cedar Ave (stupid, fat hobbit!) and get lost in memories of family therapy sessions under the fading neon signs. Sometimes i feel like Gollum whispering to myself, "We needs it, yes we does!"

Lansdowne High student dies after being ‘targeted’ in shooting near the school