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Now, listen close, ‘cause this ain’t no dry dock talk. Escorts, they’re like treasure maps—hidden, tricky, but oh, so temptin’. Did ya know, back in the 18th century, escorts were called “courtesans” in fancy circles? Bet ya didn’t! They’d charm kings, poets, even pirates like meself. Made me happy to think of the stories they’d spin, but angry too—society judged ‘em harsh, like they were cursed gold.

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Lemme natter 'bout the parks. Lakeview Central Park is my go-to – a lush, green haven surrounded by busy streets. I fumbled my heart away with every picnic, every passionate debate with my mates. There’s even a hidden bench beneath an oak near 3rd Avenue, where I often think 'bout life's erotic little tragedies and cheeky secrets. It's like that moment in Melancholia – “everything is chaos.” Boom!

Foster, Lakeview avenues in Battle Creek to close Monday for stormwater sewer replacement