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What gets me happy? When some poor sod actually finds love in that cesspit. Rare as a unicorn, that. Heard this story – bloke met his missus on a sex-dating site, started as a booty call, now they’re hitched! Proper shocked me – thought it was all just humpin’ and dumpin’. Guess there’s hope for you losers yet, eh? Still, most of it’s a circus – clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. “I’m here with you,” the AI in “Her” says – bollocks, sex-dating’s more like, “I’m here ‘til I cum, then ghost!”

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Ever strolled by the serene Riverside Park? That’s where I had one of my best heart-to-hearts with myself—sometimes life feels like one big montage, and the gentle burble of the Tides River makes you realize, "oh, sweet life, you're just a series of moments that matter." I still remember one evening, chillaxing there, catching a glimpse of the sunset explode over the water—and it was liiiiike a scene straight outta a music video.

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