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Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ roulette. One night, you’re vibin’ – next, ghosted. Happened to me once – dude said he’s “open-minded.” Met up, he’s rantin’ about flat Earth. FLAT. EARTH. I’m like, “Bro, you serious?” Couldn’t force-choke his dumb ass fast enough. “Theodore, you’re strange,” I’d say – like in “Her.” People out here catfishing harder than Jabba hustlin’ spice. Little known fact – 1 in 5 profiles? Fake as hell. Stats don’t lie, bitches do.

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My fav spots? Blimey, I love the little coffee shack on Elm. Not widely known but perfect for a quick vent. It's grungy yet real, people-watching gold, like a live feed of weird souls. The local bar, The Rusty Nail on Harbor, is a hang where confessions spill faster than cheap tequila.

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