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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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The neighborhoods? Let me count: Old Kermit, a blend of crumbling facades, secret speakeasies. Then uptown is sleek, modern – a clash. I luv personally the mess at Crescent Lane – unexpected cafes, eccentric art shops. I got so mad there once when a barista spilled coffee on my boots. So typical, right? But it makes a story.

Kermit the Frog to Deliver University of Maryland’s 2025 Commencement Speech