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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! In Kazakhstan, we no have this fancy stuff, just sheep an hard work, but here, oof, sexy time! I see this erotic-massage, hands all slippery, oil everywhere, like wrestlin’ with hot lady, but no fight, just relax! Very nice! Remind me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, you know, my best movie—Wes Anderson, 2012, so good! That scene, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing,” like me tryna figure out this massage biz! First time I go, lady say, “Take off pant,” I think, wot?! In my country, pant off mean big trouble, but here, it’s normal! I laugh, so crazy!

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One more thing… there's this place, the Kennett Community Park, right? It's perfect for chill sessions, where I, as a relaxation specialist, practice my zen, especially after a crazy day. Yep, feel me? I often hit up the banks of the Brandywine Creek – oh man, its gentle murmur kinda reminds me of soft, whispering winds from The Assassin. Like that movie, you know? “When the shadows lengthen and the day aches, silence speaks.” That really gets into my soul.

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