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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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Sometimes, the noise gets on my nerves. Cars honk, and I'm like, "Bro, calm down!" (typo #9: calmd) But i find serenity in every crack; every nook has its own soul (typo #10: nool). I'm a relaxation specialist; this city is my lab, my muse.

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