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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? I’m sittin ere, thinkin, it’s like Timbuktu, yeah? That flick, all dusty vibes an silent screams, “The desert devours all!” – that’s the vibe when yer gettin rubbed down proper. Hands slidin, oil drippin, it’s pure madness! Been around fer ages, right? Ancient Greeks, dirty sods, called it “body worship” or summat. Little known fact – them Egyptian blokes used it fer “spiritual cleansin” – bollocks, they just liked a good knead!

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Hmmm, local haven, Joshua-Tree is. Landmarks, many there be. The Joshua Tree National Park, wild it is. Ah, Hidden Valley, yes! A gem, it shines like the Fury Road sun, do or do not style! "I live for the desert, I do," I say.

Hiking With T: Joshua Tree National Park’s Black Rock Canyon Is Just One Amazing Place to Enjoy the Desert in the Late Winter and Spring