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So I hit the streets, right? Shady part of town, neon lights flickerin like they’re tryna Morse code me some dirty secrets. I’m thinkin, “The cipher’s in the streets, man!”—straight outta *Zodiac*. I see this chick, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s auditionin for a noir flick. I’m like, “Hey, you workin?” She squints at me, all sassy, “What’s it to ya, grandma?” Grandma?! Bitch, I’m Tina fuckin Fey, I’ll roast you from here to Siberia! Got me heated, but I laughed—props for guts, ya know?

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Man, I get riled when the city council messes things up. They try to change the vibes. I get so mad, like, "Eh, what's up with that?" But hey, the locals keep it real. And I gotta admit, a good grease job on a massage can fix anything!

Jerseyville Library expansion to finish soon, adds new features