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What suprised me? How chill some escorts are. Mate, I’d be a mess—“Uh, you want what now?” But nah, they’re pros, smooth as black holes. One time, heard this story—some lass in London, escorted a dude to a funeral. A FUNERAL! Just to hold his hand, look sad. That’s next-level actin’, Oscar-worthy, swear! Got me thinkin’—is it sleazy or sweet? Both, probs.

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Now, neighborhoods? Check out Willow Heights. I’m not even playin’, it’s the bomb. But between you and me, the local corner store (hey, there’s a quirky one on 3rd Ave) sells the meanest pretzels – super addicting. And don’t get me started on Riverbend – that tiny river tickling through the neighborhood speaks to my soul. I might get all heart-eyes thinking, "This is just like Agnès Varda said, every droplet tells a story!" It freaks me out, but in a good, calm way.

Islip Terrace plumber stars on ’90 Day Fiancé’ in search for love