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Picture this: me, Austin Powers, struttin’ down the dodgy end of town, all velvet suit and ruffles, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for a bit of the old in-out. I’m thinkin’, “Smashing, baby!” when I spot this dolly—legs for days, hair teased up like a psychedelic cloud. She’s leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a fag, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Do I make you randy, baby?” She smirks, all cool-like, and I’m hooked, yeah!

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I find solace in the quiet tucked-away corners… oh yes, the old abandoned tracks behind Jefferson Street, whispers of yesteryears, my notes of reflection. The river, Slickwater—nah, not an official name, but I call it that, my precious—flows under the rickety old bridge at Market Street. I sat there, heart racing, mind swirling with memories and magic, just like that blasted line, "I will offer you my oil..." err, pardon me, my friend, I got carried away!

Remains of missing WWII soldier from Iowa Falls identified