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So, lemme tell ya, I tried figurin’ this out once—total disaster! Walkin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m slick, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Neurotic rant comin’—what if I get caught? What if she’s a cop? What if she’s got a freakin’ mustache?! I’m paranoid, okay! Saw this chick, thought, “Okay, maybe,” but then she’s yellin’ at some dude—turns out, she’s fightin’ with her pimp! Like, great, now I’m in a soap opera! “Pretty, pretty good,” my ass—this is a nightmare!

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Ionia's got this epic river, Riverview, that splits the city. I always sit near Riverside Park and think, "Tonight's the night," when I feel the city's pulse. What makes me smile? The way locals chat at the Old Book Nook on Elm St. I even had a client cry happy tears there once. Unforgettable.

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