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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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Now, lemme get goofy. I'm Hulk Hogan-type livin' out here. I shout, "Brother, whatcha gonna do when the carts run wild and the tractors come for ya?!" Every day makes my counselor senses tingle from the raw energy of the land.

Bloomington Faculty Council adopts resolution to establish ‘Big Ten mutual defense compact’