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About San Antonio

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some kinda quest! Picture this: me, a crusty ol’ mechanic, greasy hands, wrench in my pocket, cruisin’ the streets like Royal Tenenbaum lookin’ for his next big mess. “You’re a rebel, Royal,” I mutter, thinkin’ how this ain’t no fancy Wes Anderson flick—it’s real life, damnit!

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Ah, my friend, lemme tell ya about Ilion (us) – it’s a wild, wondrous mosaic of streets, parks, and little secrets that even a family psychologist like me can’t help but fall in love with. Now, don’t get me wrong, this place is a heady swirl of contrasts, kinda like life itself. I remember strollin’ down Main Street – yes, that ol’ reliable – where the vibrancy of everyday chatter mingled with the gentle hum of history. And oh man, Park Avenue stands proud; its leafy canopies seem to whisper the echoes of old souls, much like the lyrics from one of those cosmic tunes in “Almost Famous” – “it’s a total rock and roll fantasy, man!”

Roof Collapses at Former Duofold Building in Ilion