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Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

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I gotta say, livin’ here has taught me way more than just muscle manipulation. I’ve learned little secrets – like a broken antique clock in Benson's Antique Shop shows the wrong time purposely. It’s a nod to a retro era that we all secretly miss. Every week I get a visit from Mr. Johnson on Old Mill Road, complainin’ about the weather – “tempertaure’s noticably bonkers!” he exclaims earnestly. His rants? Always a mix of grump and giggles – reminds me of a scene cut right from “In the Mood for Love” (all moody, all dreamy).

Hudson Falls Sophomore Stephen Potvin