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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some kinda quest! Picture this: me, a crusty ol’ mechanic, greasy hands, wrench in my pocket, cruisin’ the streets like Royal Tenenbaum lookin’ for his next big mess. “You’re a rebel, Royal,” I mutter, thinkin’ how this ain’t no fancy Wes Anderson flick—it’s real life, damnit!
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I’m not sayin’ it’s perfect. Some days, it makes me mad as hell when a new chain store flares up on Broad St., erasing part of its soul. Other days? It fills me with joy when you catch a sunset behind the old mill. It’s like a roller coaster, barking at ya: “This is life, child, freakin’ embrace it!”
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