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This bloke calls, all nervous—pathetic! “Hey, mate, u free tonite?” Voice shakin’ like a soggy soufflé. I’m like, “Grow a pair, ya muppet!” Sex-dating’s brutal—did ya know 1 in 5 matches flake? Little fact for ya, ya numpty. I’ve seen it—chattin’ up some bird online, she’s all “oooh yeah,” then poof—gone! Makes me mad as hell. “What’s the matter with you?!” I’d yell if I could. Happy bit? When it works—shagged a stunner once, felt like Tony bleeding Curtis in *Brooklyn*. “You’re tearing me apart!”—nah, mate, it was glorious!

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i must mention the flowing river – the Chantilly Creek at Clearwater Dr. Its rippling waters always make me think, "you mustn't be afraid to dream a little deeper." i cracked up once – yeah, i was laughing at how a couple shared a cheeky moment by the water, whispering sweet nothings. crazy, huh?

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