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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Ahh, friend, let me tell you 'bout Harrisonburg, we swears! I'm chillin' here, runnin' my massage joint on E Market St. and livin' the dream. This city, it be like a mystic land, like "The New World" with its deep, slow whispers... we swears!

Harrisonburg attorney concerned with Youngkin executive order on immigration