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About Dallas

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

Their stories:

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Sometimes, I’m proper pissed off an’ sometimes over the moon – like when the council decides to re-pave a part of the estate an’ wipes out a whole mural on Rusty Row. “Hurry up, get to the chopper!” I’d shout, channeling my inner Mad Max, but then calm down with a cheeky pint at The Beatnik Bistro. Life here is like one long, wild Fury Road ride, bruv!

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