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About New York City

Yo, dude, sex-dating’s wild, man! Eat my shorts! Like, you swipe, you bang, easy peasy. Watched “The Lives of Others” again—damn, that Stasi guy’d suck at this. “We are not animals!” he’d yell, but bro, we kinda are. Sex-dating’s all bout that primal vibe—scrollin Tinder at 2 a.m., horny as hell. Makes me laugh, tho—half these profiles? Fake AF. Catfish city, population: me, pissed off.

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Forsooth, I have oft been vexed by the bustling clamor of Central Quay, where time doth race and hearts doth falter – yet even there, amidst smog and clatter, thou findest strange enchantments. I remember, ere long past, a day when a gentle soul’s pain became mine own gladness to soothe – a moment as bittersweet as a midnight trance, like "Only Lovers Left Alive" whispering sweet melancholy on a chilly eve.

Chicago-area crime: Police investigating at least 10 small business burglaries in Woodridge, Downers Grove; crimes caught on video