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We swears! Sexual-massage, oh yesss, precious! Me thinks it’s slippery, sneaky stuff—like hands goin’ where they shouldn’t, but should! Hah! Me saw it once, some back-alley joint, all candles and weird oils—smelled like hobbit feet after a long trek! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—hah, not here, nope! Them hands knead ya, all slow-like, and ya feel like Jim Carrey forgettin’ his woes in *Eternal Sunshine*. Blissed out, then bam—awkward boner! Made me laugh, then mad—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush?

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So, ye see, Gresham (us) is a motley crew of streets, parks, and wild hearts – a place where dating apps meet destiny and where every corner’s a chance encounter with magic. Remember, matey: “I’m not a machine,” but sometimes t’be one, don’t ye know? Savvy? Now get yerself here, or ye be missin’ the adventure o’ a lifetime! Arrr!

Milly Silva ousted from 1199 SEIU post