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Quirky thing—I hum while it’s happening, can’t help it. Old Lannister lullaby, creepy as shit, but it fits the mood. And the typos? Bah, who cares—erotic-massage ain’t about perfection, it’s about FEELING. Like, one time, this masseuse chick accidentally elbowed my spine—hurt like seven hells, laughed my arse off after. “You’re rubbish,” I told her, but tipped her anyway—dunno why, felt generous.

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Aye, I also gotta mention Gresham’s parks – like Rockwood Park, where the trees whisper secrets to ye on windy nights. Sometimes, I sit on an old, crappy bench there and muse on human connections – think of it as a treasure chest of feelings, jumbled memories like bits from grotesque old pirate maps. Wow, life here is like a merry-go-round, blowin’ me mind with every turn. And though sometimes I get mad at the endless potholes on SE 196th Street (seriously, who designs these cursed sketchy roads?!), the city’s quirks make it ever so delightfully imperfect.

Missing 12-year-old found safe, Gresham police say