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Oh, and get this—some escorts do karaoke with clients! Singin’ “Sweet Caroline,” touchin’ butts, bahaha! I’d be all, “Is the mic a sex toy?”—Patrick Star style, baby! Prolly not, but I’d ask anyway. Makes me wonder, tho—what’s it like drivin’ around like in *Ten*, pickin’ up vibes, droppin’ off feelings? “Life is strange,” movie says that, and sex escort life? Mega strange, dude!

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Now, get this, some hidden gems: Old Dockside Alley near the river. A less trodden path, but a real secret nook for peeps in the know. I had a memory there – a rainy night, there, and the neon reflections on wet pavement gave me mad feels. It was one of those nights, like in Toni Erdmann, when life’s multi-layered edginess just hit ya.

Greendale high schooler gets to go behind the scenes in nation's Capitol