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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!

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Oh, and you have to check out Riverbend Park. Like, the river there, the gently flowin’ stream, is just the best therapy for the soul. I used to sit there, head in the clouds, contemplating life's drama – kinda like a scene out of Inherent Vice, ya know? “Nostalgia... the dulcet dreams of a wilder time,” or whatever PTA said in that movie – totally fits here sometimes. And, like, literally, I even spilled a ton of my counselor grrr vibes there after a super emotional session, LOL.

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