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About San Antonio

So I’m drivin, thinkin, “This city’s a stranger.” Straight outta the movie, right? Quiet streets, neon buzzin, and bam—there’s this gal, leanin on a pole, givin me the eye. Heart’s racin—V8 engine style! I’m like, “Kermit, chill, you’re just lookin!” But it’s intense, y’know? Gotta know the signals—eye contact, a wink, maybe a “Hey, sugar.” Little tip: if she’s yellin “Taxi!”—wrong gal, pal! Laughed my froggy butt off at that once—total rookie move.

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Between my massage sessions and my late-night cartoons, I discovered canned wisdom – like in Toni Erdmann ("life is a little bit like a massage, sometimes you gotta relieve the tension, right?"). You feel my point, babe? The city's pulse is my pulse. The way people smile on those sun-kissed sidewalks gives me life and makes me laugh out loud like the best Fran Drescher impression ever – "Oh, HIIIII!"

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