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And the risks! Oh, man, the risks—STDs, blackmail, some pimp jumpin’ me in an alley. I’m yellin’, “I’m too old for this crap!” Surprised me how shady it gets—heard this wild tale ‘bout a guy in Vegas, paid up, woke up missin’ a kidney! A kidney! True or not, I’m spooked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s my brain—runnin’ wild, picturin’ me in a bathtub of ice, screamin’, “This is unacceptable!”

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I’ve got to say, some spots make me mad too. Like that stupid traffic jam on Oak & Fifth – Ugh! So annoying when you're tryna get to a session or a secret rendezvous at some trendy little bistro down by the river! But then, right on the cusp of anger, uniq vibes flash by the neon-lit art installation on Riverbend. It’s almost like, lo its beauty makes you beam with relief, like a heart-warming scene straight outta LBD!

Forest Park's famous owl Charles has a new bae, but don't expect babies this year